Watch this space, I am embracing my geekiness

I have just registered “Nedsworld” as a trademark in Australia, I have to for what comes next

Oh my god, what have I done. I blame (in a good way) a few people from my last job… you know who you are!!!

I now have a blog, I have trademarked it’s name and now……..

Bugger, My name is Ned and I am a Geek (AND PROUD!!)

Australia is the same as the UK… but different too.

Back to what this blog was meant to be about, my experience in Australia…..

It’s just over 3 months since I landed in Oz (14th April), so I thought it was time that I blogged about some of my insights

Perth is a great city, however Winter wasn’t the best time to come here. There isn’t the pub culture that you get in the UK, especially coming from Brighton. Weekend there is, Friday and Saturday nights as per the UK, with the added tradition of the Sunday session, normally 4pm onwards.

When the summer comes it will be more social I have been told, where it turns into a beach, BBQ and beer lifestyle.

Having to get used to limited opening hours as well, after being able to buy anything you needed 24 hours a day, plus shops and pubs open on Christmas day it has been a shock to the system when I can’t go to the supermarket after 6pm as most are shut, only late night opening on a Thursday. Plus, except for the City centre, shops don’t open Sundays (there are a few exceptions).

Public transport is also an issue, Sunday and bank holidays you have no chance getting anywhere without a car. The Public transport system the rest of the time works, and it is cheap…. very cheap

So, the next purchase is a car, I have to get one. Try going supermarket shopping once a week (’cos of the aforementioned opening hours) and either have a 20-30 minute walk home or struggle onto a bus. Fancy going to the beach on a Sunday or across the river to the South Shore, forget it.

TV is interesting, loads of shit reality TV and shit UK programs plus an addiction to Gordon Ramsay, however new Simpsons; new Futurama; re-runs of Red Dwarf, Formula 1 (ITV commentators too) and the X-Files from the very 1st episode. Plus I have a flat-screen TV, HD ready that cost less than 400 pound. Oh yeah, they treat you like an adult too… they allow swearing and mature themed TV and movies on at anytime.

Things are cheaper too, as a renter I do not pay water, sewage, council tax or have to have a TV licence.

I do miss loads about the UK and things are the same, but different

The biscuits in Australia, other than Tim-Tams (mmmm Tim-Tam Slam) are poor and have no dunkability.
All the newspapers are by Murdoch and are packed full of advertising and very Sun-esque
The @ sign and the : are in different places on my keyboard
Burger KIng is known as Hungry Jacks.
Crisps are called chips.
Chips are known as hot chips (or fries)
Duvets are known as doonas
Football is soccer
Letter boxes are not in your front door, they’re in a block by the entrance to the complex (and get soaked)
Books are fucking expensive
Everything is metric (I am now weigh 69 kilos and I am 170cms… god knows what shoe size I am!!)

However, they know how to get it right (and make it better) too

Aussie Rules Football is a religion (and is much better than soccer)
Rugby is a passion (one that I whole-heartedly support)
There are Australian bands that are great, but not heard of in the UK.
Virgin Mobile are here in Oz and are as great as the UK
Motorsport is on all the time
They are learning from the mistakes of the UK with regards to social networking (Web 2.0) and are catching up fast (and innovating in ways that would excite the UK)
The beer is colder here (sorry guys, the UK serves the beer warm)

Australia isn’t the UK, that’s what I have to remember. If I want to live in the UK, I should live in the UK and I am now looking forward and embracing what made me move to Australia in the 1st place.

The summer is on the way, constant sunshine and hot weather, the beach, the ocean, the laid back attitude

Australia is an amazing place, young, open-minded and with so much money and future to offer…… So, Where the bloody hell are you?!?

There is a (lego) geek in us all… well maybe not!

I apologise in advance for this post (it reeks of geekdom)

Mr Edwards and his potty mouth

A bit like “Harry Potter and his goblet of whatever” (well actually nothing like it…..)

Well, there has seemed to be some recent (humourous) comments regarding my use of the, shall we say, more colourful of the English language.

Anyone who has known me for a day, a month, a year or even most of my life realise that I swear. It’s not that I have a narrow or limited vocabulary, it’s just sometimes there are no alternatives.

I know that the general belief in the UK (and Oz) is that if you swear then you are un-educated, well I think that’s so fucking wrong (sorry, couldn’t resist). I have had to tone down my language at my new job, I don’t swear as much when I am seeing Sarah, Jim, Steph or Paul (as it isn’t appreciated), I won’t swear in front of kids (the same as when I smoked, never in front of them)

However (not allowed to use ‘but’, it’s aggressive and confrontational), the people who read this blog are all adults and hope can cope with the odd effing and geffing” (fuck me, I’ve heard worse from you lot)

So, I am in honour of this blog post I am going to post the man who taught me how to swear (and why swearing is not for the un-educated). Mr Billy Connolly, (I was 14/15 years old when my parents got me into Billy Connolly)

I can’t come home in September…. Sorry, I’m fucking gutted.

I was really looking forward to seeing everyone this September but I can’t come back to the UK!!

Due to the price of oil, the cost of flights from Perth to London is now $3100 and with hotels and a hire car it will wipe out all my savings and commission (now if I had the money I was supposed to get in Feb 2007, it wouldn’t be an issue!!!!)

So, now I am coming back next year, March/April probably. a year after I left, a year later after seeing my nephews, not seeing both The Hughes and Warrens new kids until next year!!! It fucking blows, blows fucking bad….

I have a 2 bed apartment, there is other space I can tap into. If you want somewhere to crash, come out the offer is there. So far the list is (Andy, Susan and Wheeze). So handolio, you gonna get rid of your girlie pants and get on a plane? (I fucking hope so!); Brad you said you were traveling, not moving to a new country! Bring others with you!! How about a 38 degrees Xmas on the beach? How about a wine tour and too much red wine? The parents have seen you every year since you were born, they won’t miss you for one year!!

So it’s a goodbye and see you next year, wish it was sooner. I miss you all loads, but I am here for excellent reasons. And how much are flights to Perth from London?!?

I have to remind myself that I live only 5kms from the ocean.

I keep forgetting the above fact, I am a 15 minute bus journey or a 40 minute walk to the beach. That’s the same walk from my old flat in Kemptown to Hove.

So, I went to the coast today, I went to see the ocean, it was sunny and warm. The surf was up, the surfers were out and it was good. I walked there and back, about 12 kms in total, a healthy, happy sunny walk.

I took my camera, I keep having to remember to take it with me everywhere I go.

Ok, I think it’s time to….

Australia is good… actually it’s fucking amazing. I love this country, I am fitter, have lost my moobs and no longer smoke (2 weeks to date!)

I am staying here in Oz, I’m not coming back to the UK permanently, but to visit. It’s winter and I have a tan. I have a personal trainer and I am now losing weight (and putting on muscle)

Perth is strange, the pubs are shit, the newspapers are owned by Murdoch and there is nothing to do…. but I spent last Sunday on the Foreshore, having a BBQ, drinking beer and playing football (the good type not soocer!)

I’m off to watch Australia beat France at the rugby (hopefully) tomorrow

I miss the UK, I miss Brighton, I miss my family and my friends, however this is the next adventure….

I have made a few acquaintances with April and Andrews friends, seeing a good bunch tomorrow ( get called English, which makes me laugh)

If the west coast doesn’t work out there is always the east (Wheezie get your fucking arse over here )

I have a spare room for anyone who wants it (Milf, already counting down the days!)

When I last came to Oz my parents gave me a card that said “You are only as big as the dreams you dare to live!” That was one of the best things I have ever received…….

Oh yeah, I LIVE IN FUCKING AUSTRALIA!!!!! OH MY GOD ARE YOU REALLY SURE? FUCKING AUSTRALIA…

My favourite part of my favourite movie… Convoy!

This was (and still is) one of my favourite movies. Convoy - 1978 (30 years old shocked me) and this is my favourite bit. It is 10 mins long though (oh yeah I have become a youtube whore)

I now have a WA Drivers Licence

Woohoo, I spent today queued up for 40 minutes to get my Western Oz Drivers Licence

I had to, if I waited another 2 weeks (as I am on a 457 visa) my UK licence would be invalid to drive on and I would have to re-take my test….. no fucking way! Once is enough

So I have a new licence, if I return to the UK (which is not likely) my UK licence would’ve expired… ironic really

If you are in advertising or marketing… kill yourselves! - Bill Hicks

Simon Handby from HackBash has already once mentioned this Bill Hicks stand-up sketch, it makes me smile everytime (especially as I recruit for, and have worked for, marketing companies) Enjoy!